Apr 20, 2010

Present Reflections

It's important for me to keep writing. No matter what (I write about). No matter where (I write it all down). Blogging, journaling, even writing a grocery list. I'm trying to keep the words in motion. I have not been writing poetry but the urge has come back. I am thankful for that. I am working on a spec fiction manuscript that is coming along slowly (though I *should* be under the pressure of my mentorship deadlines). But I'm done with pressure when it causes stress. I'm done with stress. I have spent most of my life in perma-stress mode. Half my neurotic behaviour is because of PTSD. When you have lived with stress most of your life, it becomes a part of your being and it's almost as if you can't experience life otherwise. This is something I want to write more about. Something I think about often. When unhealthy situations (i.e. unsafe/lack of safety) becomes normalized. I have begun working on a piece and most of my poetry (part of the collection I am working on) relates to this theme. I wish I wasn't yet another Third World Immigrant Woman of Color who writes about trauma...but I'm hoping how I'm approaching it is different. Meaning that I'm not getting caught up on naming the trauma, but moving through it and beyond. And able to see the beauty in the hideous.
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