In the Bones
This year brought significant loss. I said goodbye to two important people in my life, one by choice, the other, not. Grieving loss takes time, I know this, intellectually. Emotionally though, I have blocked a lot. But that's a survival mechanism, I suppose. To process on a daily would take a toll. But not dealing at all also damages. I've been having body pains again, this time it's tensions and soreness all over my back and shoulders. I thought it was due to bad posture, heavy bags, injury from yoga. And it probably is a combination of all those things. But after a slight emotional breakdown tonight (triggered from Iranian elections, thoughts of home, looking at photos of grandma, working on a difficult poem) I realized the tightness is the grief I've been holding in. Heaviness pressing deep into my muscles, my bones.
My body always tells me so much. I just don't always listen to it.
I know it's time to actively process the grief. And there's much to write. Much to write.
This year brought significant loss. I said goodbye to two important people in my life, one by choice, the other, not. Grieving loss takes time, I know this, intellectually. Emotionally though, I have blocked a lot. But that's a survival mechanism, I suppose. To process on a daily would take a toll. But not dealing at all also damages. I've been having body pains again, this time it's tensions and soreness all over my back and shoulders. I thought it was due to bad posture, heavy bags, injury from yoga. And it probably is a combination of all those things. But after a slight emotional breakdown tonight (triggered from Iranian elections, thoughts of home, looking at photos of grandma, working on a difficult poem) I realized the tightness is the grief I've been holding in. Heaviness pressing deep into my muscles, my bones.
My body always tells me so much. I just don't always listen to it.
I know it's time to actively process the grief. And there's much to write. Much to write.
posted by pomegranate queen at 6/13/2009
3 Comments:
Listen to your body. I've been having back issues this week too. I finally let my osteopath doctor touch my back and realign me. She said that I had been out of alignment for years. But this week, I am returning to listening to my body and heart. I am glad that you are doing the same. Please know that you are in my thoughts, PQ.
About the elections, I need to read up on how they went. I heard a clip on the news about how the US was hoping for a more "friendly" government. When I hear that word used concerning Arab countries, I cringe but cannot speak for Iran. I would love to hear your thoughts.
sending my love
ditto
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