Stopover in Rome
On my way to Toronto. Leaving behind pieces of me. Scattered across miles of broken earth. Healing began with grandmother's grave, then the desert. The new year began with home. It also began with death. Muharram, the Shia' month of mourning. For the martyrdom of Imam Hussein. In his memory. Self flagellation. Blood. And then came the atrocity in Gaza. More blood.
I arrived at the airport in Rome. Dislocated. My heart sore. My thoughts with family I left behind, and the people of Gaza. I went through an intense security check (shirt lifted up to my bra, his hands touching my bare skin). I got to my gate only to find out there was a 3 hour delay, and a connecting flight from Tel Aviv joining us. I sat and waited. Watching tanned bodies fill the area. Conversations about biblical history and homeland echoed around me. An old man showed another photos of his trip to the Dead Sea. Proud. The beauty of home. His home. Their home. I felt like throwing up. And I did. I got out of the bathroom stall, and an older Arab woman asked if I was alright. Alhamdulillah, too much traveling, I said. We walked back to our gate, in silence. All around us the weight of injustice, of dislocations, sore limbs, death.
I eventually made it back to Toronto, minus my (lost) luggage, with a heaviness on my back and in my heart. My thoughts broken. Scattered. Life continues, for some of us. Work. Eat. Sleep.
Still the heaviness remains.
Where does resistance begin? When does privilege end? Miles away from death zones some of us call home. Miles away from exploding limbs. Endless bleeding.
In this new year, where does our resistance begin?
On my way to Toronto. Leaving behind pieces of me. Scattered across miles of broken earth. Healing began with grandmother's grave, then the desert. The new year began with home. It also began with death. Muharram, the Shia' month of mourning. For the martyrdom of Imam Hussein. In his memory. Self flagellation. Blood. And then came the atrocity in Gaza. More blood.
I arrived at the airport in Rome. Dislocated. My heart sore. My thoughts with family I left behind, and the people of Gaza. I went through an intense security check (shirt lifted up to my bra, his hands touching my bare skin). I got to my gate only to find out there was a 3 hour delay, and a connecting flight from Tel Aviv joining us. I sat and waited. Watching tanned bodies fill the area. Conversations about biblical history and homeland echoed around me. An old man showed another photos of his trip to the Dead Sea. Proud. The beauty of home. His home. Their home. I felt like throwing up. And I did. I got out of the bathroom stall, and an older Arab woman asked if I was alright. Alhamdulillah, too much traveling, I said. We walked back to our gate, in silence. All around us the weight of injustice, of dislocations, sore limbs, death.
I eventually made it back to Toronto, minus my (lost) luggage, with a heaviness on my back and in my heart. My thoughts broken. Scattered. Life continues, for some of us. Work. Eat. Sleep.
Still the heaviness remains.
Where does resistance begin? When does privilege end? Miles away from death zones some of us call home. Miles away from exploding limbs. Endless bleeding.
In this new year, where does our resistance begin?
posted by pomegranate queen at 1/06/2009
5 Comments:
I feel your pain. Much love, and I hear this where does resistance begin and where does privilege end question.
Your post is making tears come out of my eyes. I feel what you are saying. I have felt similarly but not exactly the same in airports and elsewhere. Oh, PQ, I just hope we can make a dent in the injustice that is happening in Palestine at least in our lifetime. Hope you are feeling OK being back in this cold white world and hoping you had a wonderful time home.
Margaret
beyond devastating. the atrocities continue. second week. almost 800 dead. over 3000 injured. borders closed. trapped. murdered. the international community sitting back watching this genocide. this is 2009. the question really is what are we going to do, each of us, in our own capacities.
www.freegaza.org
thank you for your comments, support and solidarity. resistance begins with community.
much love
PQ,
I finally got a post out that starts to get at how I have been feeling about the whole Gaza situation. Thought I'd share because it was this post and one by Dripping Water that got me to look at my feelings.
Thanks,
M
http://margaretswanderings.blogspot.com/2009/01/kulna-gaza.html
shadi jaan,
why make me cry?
you are so gifted, i had the insane coincidental pleasure to meet shireen on sunday. she is so beautiful and ironically we live a literal three blocks away.
can't wait for you to come up to harlem.
mariam
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