Guilt, Anger, Helplessness...
This letter written by Hanady Salman (an editor at As-Safir newspaper in Beirut) was posted today on the "Angry Arab" blog.
For me, what hit most about the letter was Hanady's feelings of guilt and anger at her own privileges and helplessness in the situation. She says,
"The first three or four days were very strange. I was in Beirut , sitting in an air conditioned office, watching the devastation of the South and the southern suburb. It felt like when you watch news and pictures from Palestine and Iraq. You feel frustrated and concerned, but you know there's not much you can do for them, for mere geographical reasons, at least that's the excuse one uses to comfort one's self. But "this" was happening a few kilometers away and I'd still be sitting here watching. The other weird feeling was related to the first one: I felt that I was paying my dues. The guilt feeling I've always had toward Palestine, and later towards Iraq, has diminished a little bit. I felt like hugging Palestine and Iraq and screaming to them "We're with you, like you: left alone, suffering and part of your cause, a great one." Sometimes I just flip and cry. Cry because I'm so helpless and angry."
Many of us share those feelings of guilt, anger and helplessness. No matter how much you feel a sense of solidarity or empathy with the people who are facing horriyfing situations, such as what is happening in Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan and many other parts of the world (including the wars of poverty, racism, etc.), if you have some distance from the situation (both in the metaphorical and actual sense), you are able to "disconnect" - you have the priviliege of "disconnecting". At the same time, in many ways, you are also helpless (or are you?)
There's always privilieges amidst the most horrifying of situations. I can relate to Hanady with my own experiences of the Iran-Iraq war. Those of us living in the capital, Tehran, dealt with a completely different situation that those living right by the border, where the bloodshed was happening. There were totally different experiences in different parts of the country. I think about those of us that could travel to different parts of the country - to the "safer" areas - because we had privileges (such as access to transportation, accomodation, etc.) that facilitated the process. Then there was the issue of food and other basic necessities that some of us had access to and others did not.
The trauma and terror of war are beyond words. Experiences and intensities of that trauma are different for each person. But one thing is for sure, that trauma stays with you for a lifetime. You may work towards dealing with it, but no matter what, part of it will always remain with you.
************************
DONATIONS
Please note (and let others know) that donations are urgently needed for supplies for internally displaced people flooding into central Beirut, Lebanon. A citizen's committee, Sanayeh Relief Center, has formed, and is currently working with 5000 refugees sheltered in schools to provide basic supplies to the refugees. It has also put out a call for international solidarity actions.
For details on the initiative and how to donate in Canada click here:
http://tadamon.resist.ca/index.php/?p=50/lang-pref/en/
This letter written by Hanady Salman (an editor at As-Safir newspaper in Beirut) was posted today on the "Angry Arab" blog.
For me, what hit most about the letter was Hanady's feelings of guilt and anger at her own privileges and helplessness in the situation. She says,
"The first three or four days were very strange. I was in Beirut , sitting in an air conditioned office, watching the devastation of the South and the southern suburb. It felt like when you watch news and pictures from Palestine and Iraq. You feel frustrated and concerned, but you know there's not much you can do for them, for mere geographical reasons, at least that's the excuse one uses to comfort one's self. But "this" was happening a few kilometers away and I'd still be sitting here watching. The other weird feeling was related to the first one: I felt that I was paying my dues. The guilt feeling I've always had toward Palestine, and later towards Iraq, has diminished a little bit. I felt like hugging Palestine and Iraq and screaming to them "We're with you, like you: left alone, suffering and part of your cause, a great one." Sometimes I just flip and cry. Cry because I'm so helpless and angry."
Many of us share those feelings of guilt, anger and helplessness. No matter how much you feel a sense of solidarity or empathy with the people who are facing horriyfing situations, such as what is happening in Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan and many other parts of the world (including the wars of poverty, racism, etc.), if you have some distance from the situation (both in the metaphorical and actual sense), you are able to "disconnect" - you have the priviliege of "disconnecting". At the same time, in many ways, you are also helpless (or are you?)
There's always privilieges amidst the most horrifying of situations. I can relate to Hanady with my own experiences of the Iran-Iraq war. Those of us living in the capital, Tehran, dealt with a completely different situation that those living right by the border, where the bloodshed was happening. There were totally different experiences in different parts of the country. I think about those of us that could travel to different parts of the country - to the "safer" areas - because we had privileges (such as access to transportation, accomodation, etc.) that facilitated the process. Then there was the issue of food and other basic necessities that some of us had access to and others did not.
The trauma and terror of war are beyond words. Experiences and intensities of that trauma are different for each person. But one thing is for sure, that trauma stays with you for a lifetime. You may work towards dealing with it, but no matter what, part of it will always remain with you.
************************
DONATIONS
Please note (and let others know) that donations are urgently needed for supplies for internally displaced people flooding into central Beirut, Lebanon. A citizen's committee, Sanayeh Relief Center, has formed, and is currently working with 5000 refugees sheltered in schools to provide basic supplies to the refugees. It has also put out a call for international solidarity actions.
For details on the initiative and how to donate in Canada click here:
http://tadamon.resist.ca/index.php/?p=50/lang-pref/en/
posted by pomegranate queen at 7/21/2006
1 Comments:
"The trauma and terror of war are beyond words. Experiences and intensities of that trauma are different for each person. But one thing is for sure, that trauma stays with you for a lifetime. You may work towards dealing with it, but no matter what, part of it will always remain with you."
I'm sorry
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